The other day, Chris and I were talking about the possibility of my enlisting in the Reserve again. One of our friends had been talking about potential billets for linguists, and I got a little excited. And then I started thinking up scenarios. Things like “What if I deployed with a team of SEALs and I did a really good job and they were like, ‘Hey, Sespi, you can be a honorary part of our SEAL team,’ and then I was basically a SEAL?”
And Chris just looked at me and said, “Stop imagining.”
Then today, I was talking about that again (because obviously I can’t stop imagining) and I said, “Oh my gosh, what if one day they were like, ‘Hey Sespi, it doesn’t matter if you’re a girl, come out and kick in doors with us’ and then they let me kick in a door?” Chris, for some reason, decided to play along and said, “Do they actually kick in doors or do they use some kind of ram?” Then he probably instantly regretted it, because I said, “I have no idea! Oh my gosh, what if they use a ram and I tried to do it with my foot but I was too weak so I just bounced off and they were all, ‘Duh, we use a ram. Stupid.’”
It suddenly occurred to me that Chris doesn’t worry about things because he doesn’t have an imagination and I worry about things because I do. I shared this theory with him and he looked unconvinced, so I gave him the following example: “Someone tells you they need a briefing on some topic, so you say ok, prepare, give the briefing, and don’t think about it anymore. But if someone told me to give a briefing, I would say ok, go to prepare and then start thinking… What if I misspeak and no one catches it because I’m the ‘expert’ so they just take my word for it, but I’m not right and then they go to war? We could have spent 50 years avoiding war with the USSR and then I give a briefing and suddenly we’re in the middle of a nuclear war with Russia.”
Chris just stared at me.
I can only assume that it’s because he finally understands how stressful it is to have an imagination and was giving thanks that he doesn’t have one.
*Yes, I do say “was like” and “was all” and occasionally “was all like” when I talk. I’m from Southern California, give me a break.